Control

My toes are cold.

No, really, they are. This being Massachusetts at 9:00 PM in December, I guess this should be a surprise to no one (even if I am indoors), but it was the first thing to pop into my head when I was confronted with the awesome responsibility of writing a subject heading. My nose is also cold, and my fingers are getting there (I swear to God they need better heat in the library) but that only occurred to me later.

Classes are over and finals are still a handful of weeks away. Well, three. (Making it, at least in my internal taxonomy, a "few" weeks away. "Couple" is just a long way of saying "two," "few" is "three or four," a handful is "five" [like, you know, fingers. If you include the thumb as a finger, which I do], and anything beyond that is "a shitload.") I'm actually glad of this, now, because that means I don't need to be studying (since I'm clearly not anyway), although I'm sure it will be super annoying as soon as I get home and have to spend my days studying. Oh, well, I knew what I was in for when I signed up. (As Super Chicken once said to his sidekick who, although I can't remember what kind of animal he was, I remember that his name was Fred: "Besides, you knew the job was dangerous when you took it." [ASSUMPTION OF RISK! dying a million deaths] Okay, technically that line is actually in the theme song, but you can imagine it as having been said by Super Chicken.) A is still here, but a lot of people have already gone home for the holidays. So it's mostly quiet around here, and not crowded, which is awesome as I sit around not actually writing this memo that I still have to do. Sigh.

So, okay, I was listening to Automatic for the People the other day, which is such an awesome album. I mean, even intrinsically it's just great, but it's also one of those albums that dropped right as I was awakening musically, so it's tied up with a thousand things I had almost forgotten. High school, being a teenager, blah blah. I now understand why old people always listen to the same music over and over again. I promise I get new music occasionally. ANYWAY those of you who know know that there's a song on it called "Star Me Kitten," which I always thought was a cool title for a song, but I never really heard the words clearly. This is one of those songs where Mike Stipe is kind of gravelly mumbling into the microphone and it's not very clear what he's saying. But I was always reasonably sure that what he was saying was "Star me kitten." Despite the fact that it doesn't actually make any sense. I mean, since when does rock music need to make sense? (Maybe this isn't time to dive into how much I love psychedelic rock--at least when it's edited to bits of five or so minutes. I can't listen to 20-minute jam tracks.) But I was playing around on-line as I was listening and I was like, well, hell, why not look up the lyrics, and apparently what he's actually saying is "Fuck me Kitten." Which makes more sense (at least if you assume that "Kitten" is a nickname--I guess it does even if you don't, but that doesn't really bear contemplation), but, huh. I won't say that I was disillusioned or anything, because, um, whatever. But still! I just thought it was funny that instead of naming the song something else, or even "**** Me Kitten" they just went and straight up changed the name of the song.

I guess it's also possible that the lyric site I was on was wrong, but I've decided now that this story is way too cool to be false, so I'm going to plunge ahead merrily as if it's true. (As my torts professor says, "If you don't know the law, make it up!")

Also, A says: "N is sexy, and he is really cute also. Also, he has a hat. a" Yes, the extra "a" was in the initial message. Sorry, I'll wait until you all get back from puking.

Okay, in addition to the cold toes thing, there's seriously like a million snow on the ground. It's like, a ludicrous amount. And supposedly there's more on tap for tonight and tomorrow, which is I guess a good thing. If nothing else it will keep me indoors and near memo-writing implements. YAY SNOW!!! A is pretty sure I'm going to get sick of it at some point, but I'm less sure. I don't have to drive in it, and the amount of walking I'll have to do in it on a regular basis is pretty minimal. Plus people up here actually seem to be able to deal with it, which is novel.

Blah. Okay, not like I had much of anything to say anyway, really, but that's the update from Mass! Californians, I'll be back on WEDNESDAY. Yayay!!! I know you're all as monkeybrite as I am!
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So, okay.

Those of you who still read this (does anyone still read this?) may have noticed that I haven't been around in...a while. There have been changes around here, and they seem good. There have also been other changes in the world as defined by me and they are also good. In fact I can't think of any bad ones, really. Well, that's not fair. There are certainly changes I wish I didn't have to make, but having made them I'm happy. Which is to say, Harvard, yay, and hi, y'all.

I don't think I've actually been in the "post" screen of LJ since maybe May? Possibly June. Nevertheless, when I got here, LJ asked me if I wanted to resume this earlier draft:

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So I was walking to work this morning, or rather walking to the Metro because that's what I do, rather than walking all the way to work, which would take forever, and it was a gorgeous day and then suddenly I was smelling toast! OMG AM I HAVING A STROKE!?!? Answer: I assume not, unless one of the symptoms of stroke is that nothing happens at all except that you smell toast. And that is my story about how I did not have a major medical emergency this morning.

OTHER THINGS I DID NOT HAVE THIS MORNING

* Pancakes
* Chlamydia
* A Hangover
* High-pitched Ringing in My Ears
* Routine Angioplasty
* A baby

As it turns out, I didn't have any kind of angioplasty this morning, so don't none of you worry. I know you all were. Also I am not now nor have I ever been pregnant, although one of the women at work is, and good for her! She can't eat tuna fish.

I did have pancakes both Saturday and Sunday mornings, though. That was pretty awesome. Andrew and I made them and ate them. Both days! Mmmm, pancakes. (YES! I cooked! Actually, totally true story, the microwave at my apartment broke, for all intents and purposes. Somehow the only button that works is the popcorn button. So you can microwave things in increments of about two-and-a-half minutes, but you have to watch the timer and how annoying, right? So I've actually had to cook my own dinner on occasion. Like, I've made spaghetti and sausages and tuna salad and it's been just insane! And I haven't once burned down the kitchen, which, go me. Yay for food!)

I was making fun of someone or something recently for having chlamydia, even though who- or whatever it was didn't. I don't remember the context. But I'll bet it was fucking hilarious. LAUGH DAMNIT.

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Good times, good times. Of course I don't have that job anymore, I imagine the girl at work has had her child, and I did not have pancakes for breakfast this morning. Nor will I tomorrow morning, I don't think. I have ceased cooking, what with the living in the dorm now, but I never did burn down the building. I still know people who live there, so yay for that.

I got a package in the mail the other day from darthrami. I have no idea how or why, but for some reason she had the valet key to Radetzky. She suspected, and alas she is correct, that it was too late to actually matter, as Radetzky was sold back in August. I loved to drive that car, but there would be no point to having him here. Especially as I live in the dorms.

I am not, I am sad to say, curling. No time, and Wayland is just far enough away to be a pain in my ass. Sigh.

I am learning Criminal Law, Contracts, Torts and Civil Procedure. Next semester I am learning Property and Legislation & Regulation, a new course they invented for my incoming class, as well as a class on International Law, and some elective. Three of my professors have clerked for judges, two of them for the Supreme Court. One of my quasi-professors (she leads a "reading group" which mostly involves watching movies about the Civil Rights movement, which I'm totally okay with) also clerked for the Supreme Court, and is apparently married to a Justice on the 1st Circuit Court of Appeals. Two of my professors literally wrote the book on their subjects. None of which I say to brag. It's just--this is a weird place, y'all. I was sitting in on a panel of graduates over the years, and one of the gentlemen on the panel gave the following advice: "Get to know your classmates. One of them is going to be a governor and can get you a job as a judge." Hahaha oh wait he's serious. In fact, he was a judge. He should know.

There are loud people outside my window now. Apparently they're going to Tommy Doyle's (a local bar that also has karaoke on some nights. It's no Remington's). It's fall in New England, and the remnants of Hurricane Noel mean it's chilly and rainy, but this being New England, people are also burning leaves and having fires in fireplaces, so you get that wonderful smell that people normally associate with Hallowe'en, but being a Northern Californian, I associate it with Christmas. They already have the Christmas candy out at the CVS, and earlier this evening I listened to the only piece of Christmas music I can stand to hear more than once a year, The Nutcracker. I like it here, but also I can't wait to go home.

So, hi! No empty promises of being around more often this time. But let me know how you're all doing. Even with how much for-class reading I have on any given night, I can still spare a little time for LJ.
  • Current Music
    Drunken Revelry
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SO HI

Um, hi!

I've been dead for 14 weeks, but now I am alive again! This isn't a real update, but I wanted to let everyone know:

1) I AM ALIVE!

2) I AM WELL!

3) A real update is coming soon.

4) IF YOU ARE WITHIN THE SOUND OF MY VOICE YOU ARE INVITED! Seriously. As some of you know, Monday is the Celebration of Me! Where I turn actual 29, for the very first time. SO:

SUNDAY.

MY PLACE.

8:00.

SHOW UP.

BRING BOOZE. (No need to bring gifts!)

If you don't know where my place is, or want more info or whatever, leave a comment and I'll get back at you with more info.

I lick you all!

PS Check out the cool new default icon. My dad made it. The script on the icon was made by that very typewriter.
  • Current Music
    I've Got A Life--The Eurythmics
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This is a long, long entry. With a quiz!

Abstract

Nudged AGAIN but this time I was prepared. Too bad my computer wasn’t. Let’s all mourn what we don’t know. I have a brief instance of ADD. I got a new computer! It is awesome, except that the firewire port is effed so it’s getting a new motherboard. It is male? Is it female? Help me decide. My high school girlfriend was in town and it was awesome and I miss her. I am the best tourguide ever. Happy birthday, birthday havers! ANGSTY STUPID SANDWICH BOY STUFF. A lot of it. Seriously. Do everyone a favor and skip it. EXCEPT THE QUIZ TAKE THE QUIZ. Could you be my boyfriend? The upside to all of this is that now I know for certain I’m HIV negative. Woo. Passat commercials suck. Cars in Miami are awesome! MIAMI was awesome! There was a bachelor party and drinking and a beach and a tan line and a gutless convertible and more drinking and DRAMA (because duh) and MORE drinking and OH YEAH THE WEDDING and then MORE drinking and then dancing and then YET MORE drinking and eating and chilling and hanging out and it was all pretty much amazing. So yay to that!! There was also that awful game show Card Sharks, which sucked, but I make up a story about it anyway. And I wrote something for Wikipedia!! It was an 8. No, seriously. And then I get cranky about things because, well I don’t know why but get off my goddamn lawn.

(*&)(*$&)!@(*&$)!(*@)$^#%!*&@^#%)!(&)(

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I feel like this should be two posts–the happy Miami stuff in one and the angsty lame crap in another. But extricating the one post from the other would be impossible, even if I felt motivated to do it. Which I don’t. Feh.

I should re-park my car. Feh.

Feh.

(Brief addenduim while posting: There's now a field for "Current Location"?! Oh, man, how awesomely amd I going to misuse this?!?!?!)
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Adventures & Misadventures

Abstract

Mr. Mister should have an honorary degree. AREN'T I FUCKING ADORABLE?? I watched wy too much Murder, She Wrote as a child, and know way too much about Angela Lansbury generally. Today's word of the day makes me har. Because I am four. I had an adventure! I was in New York! I FedExed something! I reminisce about one of my favoritest books ever, which you should all read. Free lunch today, served by hot guys. I also hear a really great awful joke, which you have to read to believe. It's probably better when I tell it in person, though. And now I have actual work to do. I KNOW SHOCKER.

@($*&%($*&%)$(*&%)#$$@^(&%#@%^

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On the other hand, it finally feels like summer's on its way. YAY!
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News

Abstract

Fox "News" pisses me off. Non-Fox "News" pisses me off. News sucks. Isn't it someone's birthday? I stick it to the man. My back hurts. I like my toothbrush. I need new tires. Rhode Island is lovely. Connecticut is lovely. My grandmother's memorial service is lovely, and about like you'd expect when the Datlowes get their hands on a somber occasion. My brother and I offend everyone possible, for which I apologize. Everyone in Connecticut is old. I love fried food. Very sad news from a college friend. Sandwich Boy and I are...well, who the hell knows. George Mason, WTF. My boss quits. I make plans for the afterlife.

It occurs to me that this is a pretty subdued entry. Sorry. Please don't spam me with complaints about how you didn't laugh. I'm not really in the mood. Spam me with all the other comments you'd like, though! It will keep me from not doing the work I don't want to be doing. Trust me this makes sense.

(#*@$*&^@(#*$&^(#$&)(@*#_$^@#^$%^

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And that's the way it is this 27th of March, 2006.
  • Current Music
    Padraic My Prince--Bright Eyes
NEW F1

Like Inferno, but fun!

ABSTRACT

I was nudged again. This somehow leads me to cat barf. I had lunch at Five Guys! Which reminds me of Scooby Doo. And Jabberjaw. My grandmother died. I’ll be in Connecticut the last weekend in March. I did a Roundup! I would have done more, but the news has been sucky boring. My music depresses me. It was my best friend’s birthday! And also her wedding anniversary is coming up soon (although by “soon” it turns out I mean April). Curling sucked, and so did New York and the weather. I went gambling! Word is retarded. I ate food! Slots are depressing. I won $6! And then gave it right back. Happy Ash Wednesday! Happy birthday Michelle! I make fun of fat people. YAY F1 SOON. New stuff at work. Another lame-ass Chairman joke. Question about Miami logistics!!! Sandwich Boy might have quit? Finally, a Public Service Announcement. Very important.

(*@Q&^#@#$^&(*@&$)#(*&$)(#$)!!!

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Um. And with that I think I will actually post this now. So I still have time to do some work today, or something. Fun!
Liebchen

Quattuordecameron

ABSTRACT

I am smarter/less smart than Outlook. I have mental constipation (which is now relieved), and for purposes of this entry, pretend you are an educated 14th-Century Italian. Another stupid-ass Chairman joke. A series of vignettes: 1) Drunkenness I; 2) Pynchon I (Sandwich Boy); 3) Home For the Holidays; 4) A Pointless Story; 5) And This is All True; 6) Just Play Along With Me Here; 7) And We're Back; 8) Drunkenness II; 9) New Year, New Hope (but not in the Star Wars way); 10) Pynchon II (Sandwich Boy, Reprise); 11) Holidays and the 4th Amendment; 12) A Hot Boy; 13) More fun with cars; 14) Denouement. (If I were feeling energetic, I would link those to the sections they correspond to, but I'm not, and it occurs to me that I don't know how to anyway. The vignettes are all set apart and bolded, so it shouldn't be too hard to find the one you're after, if you don't want to read them all.) Welcome back! I smoocha you all.

(#*&$)(Q*#&$)(Q*&_)$*(&$#)(*&^(*&$^@)#*&%H

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So, I’m back! And, uh, hey, how about that local sports team? Or some junk.
Mrs. King

Like a particularly bizarre episode of Animaniacs

ABSTRACT

And I'm zany to the max! I was just talking to this guy from Norway, which is cool, because, NORWAY! But I can't help him, so I don't know how to deal with that. Instead I will spout trivia. I am a mime! Hilarity ensues. Because I am a mime, however, I am not wearing the hot new jacket I bought at the Puma Store this weekend because it is being discontinued and I love my F1 team's new livery and I love my jacket and I LOVE THINGS, but not really, because my sort of grandmother gave me a guilt complex about this a long time ago, which I have mostly gotten over beause of the current president who is a retard, in case you hadn't noticed, but almost led to political fisticuffs, but then didn't. I am extremely gay. I curled some. There was a holiday! I saw Rent. I helped people move! WELCOME NEWBIES! Be sore afeared. Stupid back.

)@($#*&)(#*$&)@#(*$+_)@(#@__@^@$#@%^$()*#

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Oh, also, my sister got married. Have I mentioned that?